In 2008, a thirteen year-old Albuquerque boy attended a two-day training course titled CPR for Babysitters. The class comprised of the boy, his sister, and eleven other pre-teen girls. Being the only male in sight, he is trying to navigate this peculiar social situation amongst the general anxieties of pubescence. 

 

It was at this moment, during the greatest challenge that the young, fragile ego has ever faced, that the instructor asks the class to pair-up.

 

Naturally, none of the girls wanted to pair up with the lone male. Even the boy’s sister left him stranded.

 

The instructor woman then volunteers herself to complete the pair. The young man has thus found himself tasked with performing the Heimlich maneuver on a fully grown and well fed woman. 

 

Resigning himself to fate — he prays it is over quickly and positions himself cautiously in her shadow. 

 

Yet calamity would strike its final blow. He stretches out his little arms but his hands cannot reach around to the belly button. The woman is larger than his grasp! 

 

Instead of finding an innovative solution to this hypothetically live-saving maneuver, the boy appears to simply die inside while holding Susan Gardner (42) gently from behind.